Love and Lust with Samuel.C

So a fellow resident kissed me and now I don’t know what to do when I see them next. Am I suppose to pretend it didn’t happen, talk to the person about it or does this mean I can’t kiss anyone else? Help – Deakin Anonymous.

Well, it all depends on if you like them or not, if you regret the decision you should burst into one of their lectures, take to the lecturn and declare in a mighty booming voice that you think they arent very good at kissing and you do not think you will repeat the performance. It is very important you do this during a lecture because that way it is recorded and if they mishear you they can listen to it again later for confirmation. If you do like them your only realistic option is to burst into one of their lectures and kiss them again, this shows you are brave and virile and makes you very attractive, if possible kiss them near the microphone so it gets recorded and you can listen to that again later too in case you forget you did it, make sure to make lots of kissing noises if you do this so the mic can pick it up, for example the lady might be saying something along the lines of; "O my goodness Sam Cross you are a god, i never want to be away from your sensual lips and devilish good looks mmm mmm o yes please more". To answer the second part of your question, no this does not mean you cannot kiss anyone else, in fact it should encourage you to kiss as many people as possible, this is the only way the human race will survive its current population crisis.

What is the best way to handle a crush on a much younger resident? What if people tease me? 

Lie about your age. If people tease you your local hardware store has a very effective treatment, simply buy a large bag of concrete, eat it, and harden the &*%$ up.
 

If anyone else has any relationship queries, stick a note under room 272 to remain annonymous.